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illuminatix

About me

I abandoned my daughter, betrayed and lied to my family, left them penniless to suffer. Who am I? What have I become? Addicted to prostitute
Total posts:
5041
Profile views:
908
Last seen:
08/10/16
Joined:
07/01/06
Lives in:
Toronto, ON, ca
About me:
Ode To The Marvel Of Devouring Lust My stripped heart idles in passion's liquid fire aching to brush hard against your swelling breasts, unto those vanilla scented sacred, torrid jewels, that outshine the stars and the harvest moon in my fevered, translucent nights, where, with my Devouring Lust, I have captured every nightingale to imprison all the love poesies and let you only feel the hunger of my vaulted lips, how they tremble for freedom to become a tyrant granite wave and crash nakedly into the inviting ivory shores of your prismatic submission, trying to quench their unquenchable intimate thirst again and again Oh, let my stubborn hands become the sweetest villain of your glazed dreams who wonders lost, drunk on rejuvenation, between your fruitful folds of softness, upon the beating meadows of sensual hills and hidden valleys of exhausted yearnings, exploring the depth of the universe while your soft rose tinted limbs scream out from your twirling torso awash in sunrise to call upon the storms of embrace Come my sweet Beloved! Leave the silent rain behind the mutilated walls of exile. Take me into your eclipse of seductive fusion, where you unfold your sensual palms to mold my unclaimed earth into the contour of your nubile smile. And, as I am reverberating in your phosphorescent mind, with the tip of your eyelashes, while you reveal all my elliptical dreams in carefree nakedness, write your exposed name upon the un-foretold promise of my mortal heart's pulse Slowly, as your melting shadow arches over the canopy of my offering crimson visions seep through the cosmic portals of your want, dreaming transformations become bite marks of resurrecting reality. Paralyzed in a haze of presence, you drink the streaming, deep fantasies of sexual elixir from my spreading lips. And with your eyes closed, you watch me as I burn your trembling, pallid prayers into falling, echoless ashes of innocence while your hips slowly swallow my hidden breath unleashing vapors of awaiting syllables to fill the tired, tepid air with the nostalgic nectar of our skin There is no longer you nor I just an embrace in Life's Movement only One Soul that has become a tormentor, a savior, a prostitute, a virgin, to die for to be restored to life from the seeds of Love I am, You are... You are a blazing Soul-Dance rising from within the Sun, upon haven's rolling dome. Every eyes gaze towards your clusters of graceful light that softly embraces thorns and petals equally, spreading true kindness beyond our eyes to warm the soul and I am a climbing Jasmine trying to spread your arms wide open to drink the light from your ruby lips and dissolve within the hues of your sacred embrace You are Passion's Breathe that feeds the flames of love's fire, that burns in the altar of universe. And when you move through a broken flute, that lies in the dust of oblivion, its ruined body once again breaks into a melodious instrument, stirring the air with blossoming notes of joy... and I am a Poet of immortal love trying to harvest those winged songs into the basket of my heart from within I pour verses upon the empty white pages after pages Now, that I exhaled the essence of your beauty I must close my lips and eyes once again, And let silence turn thoughts and feelings into teardrops, until the waves of syllables erupt and wash my soul ashore at your soul's coast... A moment Of Surrender Beneath the beckoning Sunless heaven My soul-whispers slowly fade into Night's charcoal symphony Annuling all the songs That have been sung before. And, In this Abundant confession It is only my lamenting sigh That reverberates Again and again Oh alas! My Sweet Infidel! Without you I am just a gray, Muted ocean of poetry With neither depth nor shores Roaring voiceless, Foaming in pallid shades Just trying Not to die before death Within this rimless cradle Of infinite solitude, Where I still Dream of sweet Sunrises, Thirsting for Love's intoxication For the azure rain of your altar's Sensuous flames, For the effusing vapors of your crimson moon To once again dissolve these Glazed ripples of hidden sorrow Into a immensely glittering Waves of love verses And repose my fractured soul upon your gilded Smile, For you still have all of me... And, As my intellectual being roots Deep into the clay of creativity To exhale one more silent syllable, To try to heal these unbearable wounds Of never fading farewells, Of wasted sunsets, I find myself paused, Wondering In a moment of surrender: Although, I have offered my very soul to embrace Love Yet Love refused to embrace me... Perhaps the Best thing in life was never meant to be... Beneath the purple sheets of yesterdays I feel how this breath becomes more Obsolete by each passing heartbeat And, In this abundant emptiness It is my lamenting cry "Oh my Love Where are you? Oh but where But where" That hopelessly reverberates Yet only the resonating echoes Of my lucid past that are here to Answer; "Oh but where But where" Black in Black Cloud-capped violins dressed in ashen dreams swaying, longing, ever so gently fading by the motionless hands of yesterday's verdant gleams for you have drifted away, so, so faraway, leaving only a Plutonian void behind where crystal serpents of dismay grind, silencing the lulling mazes of my life with their foamy cascades of strife amaranthine hopes lit by years of a fruitless toll quivering, shivering still nestling deep in the damp opaque eyelids of this lonesome, ruptured soul. naked prayers try to rise up, up arise! but the wings of my breath are clipped unable to reach Heavens from their crypt slowly being consumed without a reply by the scratching echoes of goodbye unclosing eyes wedded to a lost precious Sight, waiting, grieving, endlessly weeping. liquid sighs of ghostly memories poring unto the brimming night elevating my arms to reach out high so, so high but alas! my Beautiful Queen you can no longer hear me nor read me nor heal me for I have become a departing shadow an oozing poet of the Cimmerian Meadow. draped in black in a black light orbiting in the ever-during night, with my black whispers and black tears, around your imperious pearls, that are reflecting your garish smile, flaxen curls... my forever lost treasures, oh, the never tasted pleasures... My Verses Were Trying To Touch My verses were trying to touch what my arms could not reach. but now, the tainted pen is dragging on falls, from zenith's high into the dust of time for it is no longer able to bleed the liquid splendor of pain, That oozes deep, beyond the rhythm of this tired life. everything slowly becoming a shadow of the yesterdays as the rose- fragrance of my lover, by Spring's soft breathe being blown away... lying awake, upon the forsaken bed of evaporated Love's sea where I am trapped in the prison of my own making, afraid to meet the next dawn as my grand naivety still feeds upon the dreams and hopes bathed in resplendent hues, that are nestling in my soul. cracks on the cell walls have grown wide and long letting me watch the twilight as it crawls through to become a reminder of your vermeil lips, lulling voice lustrous skin, and once again, behind these weeping gray circles in between two paralyzed heartbeats, finding myself remembering, the past moments of delights and all that could have been… oh, Beautiful Queen! I am without you, grieving far, so far away bound to Life's fading brilliance that lingers upon the lips of Dullness in a room of crystallized drips of emptiness where the voices of hope forge with numbness. maybe, it was just one too many unspoken whispers, one too many unseen teardrops that left the two of us infidel, to fall apart, and become a lost piece of Love's grant puzzle leaving this bleeding Lover forever incomplete… Alone Since Ill Omen haunted at the cradle of my existence Destiny has shown its animosity with great persistence Paths that were parallel have become less defined Enamored dreams with reality have never entwined Empty wells within my heart by tides of sorrow did overflow Prayers of mercy that no one heard have slowly sunk below Vibrant love-sighs died off into a long parting groan And everything that ever was I embraced all alone Deluded memories of this beginning still bleed through As Tyrant Fate tainted my conciseness then waved adieu Now hues of Heaven and Hell shine in my abstract days Currents of the Unknown move me through an elaborate haze But beneath the lacerated mask hides the truth that I must reveal The longing of eyes and lips that these hands try to conceal From the unconfined whispers swaying and playing in my chest To the ringlets of fiery dreams that still keep me possessed Gazing, past the fallow fields through the clusters of vacant arms Above my awaiting cold vault around the long forgotten charms, for I still strive to see just one sunburst of hope within Life's crowds But my Only World has suffused its face with darkened clouds... Revolving shadows of my demons were creations of my own And now, everything I have ever loved, I embrace all alone
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Favorite Music:
Our short existence blooms in the palm of the One and Only. Where the End is the beginning and the Beginning is the end. Everywhere I look, I see the One’s face, in you, in me, and all around... Each of us shines from a Light that radiates from a single Source. We are many and yet only one, there is no You or Me just, Us... And yet, we live our life through a thick haze. Blinded by hate and ignorance, causing much suffering to others, to our own self as we trying to manage to sail on the Sea of Madness. So close your eyes, and tell me; if You are Me and I am you, than why are we lack to see, to understand Life’s philosophy? Why moist our brothers and sisters eyes with grief’s dew, when all we need to share is just one spark of Love’s hue?
Favorite TV Shows:
Favorite Movies:
Leaving -
Favorite Quotes:
Dawning Black Dove Opening verse Oh Immortal Spheres! Rulers of all creation, Whom suspended the Azure Ocean In-between Hades and the Rolling Heavens I bow at your eminent shadows Stirred not by ill-will but to seek Your Celestial kindness Heed upon this prayer as it rings out loud From my very soul. Help me guide my hand That holds this pen and let me etch, Whit the drops of my heart's blood Upon the gilded pages of chronicles this song that has never been sung before Life is nothing but a long parting Farwell That smoothes off into doleful silence Just to die within the unheeding chambers of transparent End Tender days among the living are passing Steadily oh so swiftly As Closing hours, from ever-during shadows of misery onward moving ever so sweetly Oh Amaranthine Creditor, Death, I am calling for you with merriment chants behold my life, enfold these departing breathes within your easeful grace for you have laid your fruitless toils all around me and I cannot find amiable peace And from the Eyes of Heaven Death himself appears oh mortal poet of passion! Awaken from the vault of long forgotten rhyme Or be bound to the plighted shadows of woe And be forever fallen Second Verse There was a time of fervent bliss, when my life Was braced by your kiss, Garlands of words from love's ripening zephyr Did begin to bloom. Long forgotten halls in my soul, echoed in hopes Without a toll, As glittering Air-drawn poems did roll on the cheeks of dreams To end Life's gloom. Spring's noontide with vernal passion sweetly Washed upon our heart's shore Yet, merriment times are no more For you have become my Lenore
Less

What I've Been Up To

  • illuminatix buzzed...
    • I convince myself that I love her, yet when I look into her flesh I am haunted by the family I left behind. They don't love me, she does...I pay her to tell me what I want to hear, yet all I hear is a lie...
  • illuminatix buzzed...
    • Beloved daughter, I never once loved you. I am too selfish of a man to have ever thought of you once. My mind is consumed with my manly desires for prostitutes. I think it best if you too become a prostitute, it is the way to fill your fatherless void.
  • illuminatix buzzed...
    • Can I die over and over, and over again one last time? When will I at last cry an ocean of black tears for my daughter? Her eyes burnt with the pain I've scorched her with. Abandoned. Alone. What is the purpose of living? How did I become this beast?
  • illuminatix buzzed...
    • Did you once think of me as your friend? I am nothing to no one...please let me drift away softly and quietly. A thousand daggers will pierce my grave as all the naked women suffocate me and whisper *Olivia*
  • illuminatix is currently...'
    • I abandoned my daughter, betrayed and lied to my family, left them penniless to suffer. Who am I? What have I become? Addicted to prostitute
  • illuminatix got friends...

Alone

image

Alone

Since Ill Omen lulled at the cradle of my existence
Destiny has dawned its animosity with great persistence
Paths that were parallel have become less defined
Enamored dreams with reality have never entwined

Empty wells within my heart by tides of sorrow did overflow
Prayers of mercy that no one heard have slowly sunk below
Boisterous love-sighs smoothed off into a parting groan
And everything that ever was I embraced all alone

Deluded memories of this beginning still bleed through
As Tyrant Fate tainted my conciseness then waved adieu
Now hues of Heaven and Hell shine in my abstract days
Currents of the Unknown anchor me to an elaborate haze

But beneath the lacerated mask hides the truth that I must reveal
The longing of eyes and lips that these hands try to conceal
From the unconfined whispers swaying and playing in my chest
to all the ringlet of fiery dreams that still keep me possessed

Gazing, past the hallow fields through the clusters of vacant arms
Above my awaiting cold vault around the long forgotten charms,
for I still strive to see just one sunburst hope within Life's crowds
But my Only World has suffused its face with darkened clouds...

Revolving shadows of my demons were the creation of my own
And now, everything I have ever loved, I embrace all alone


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